
Matthew Nichenko
New Moon Film Critique
For all the hype over the year after Twilight was released New Moon truly did drop the damn ball. I don’t know which was worse, “Edward” with his cold, pale, scrawny body or “Jacobs” underage overly swole body. This movie was nothing put a PG-13 porno for kids. I never felt so pathetic as I stood in line being forced to listen to girls try and convince their boyfriend’s that this movie was going to be great but we all know what the boyfriends were thinking “HELL NO IT WON’T.”
I had to do everything I could to keep myself from laughing when Jacob took off his shirt and I swear for that moment all the oxygen in the room was sucked out as every girl gasped for air. I mean come on, is all that necessary? This was nothing but a poorly written love story with hardly any action. I thought this also has something to do with a war between vampires and werewolves? The most action I saw was two vampires fighting over a girl who is way too ugly to be given the main role in this movie. And last buy not least I must say that is I hear another word about how hot Edward is I will kill myself. The guy wants to suck the blood out of your neck until your dead. Someone please explain to me how this is attractive.
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